Packing/Mama

Hello All!

I'm here with Mama and taking a break from packing (which I've been doing for about... 15 minutes.) Exhausting.

We're leaving for Italy tomorrow! We'll meet up with Papa G there and have a wonderful 5 days exploring before we return to Toulouse and Dad takes home a large suitcase full of my things (thanks pops!) I'm currently in the process and packing said suitcase and it should hopefully make final packing much easier (and lighter.)

So far Mama and I have taken it pretty easy. We've checked out a flea market type thing and walked around town.  We walked by the river and Mama even participated in our weekly pub quiz! She likes the Melting Pot almost as much as we do!

We've tried out a few new restaurants, which have all been pretty yummy. The first night she was here, we went for fondue and got something called Raclette. This is essentially half a wheel of cheese that they stick on your table under a heat lamp. They serve it with baked potatoes and ham. Once the cheese is melty, you tilt it over your plate and scrape the cheese onto your plate using a wooden knife/spoon thing. And as we were told multiple times- you scrape with BOTH hands and you DON'T scoop! It was quite a new experience!

People were supposed to be coming over to check out my bed and desk today, but they're being very blase about actually coming, so we'll see.

Later today Mama is going to meet Christophe and we'll give him a thank you gift for all of his help full of goodies from home, including: Bridgewater Chocolate, maple syrup, honey, beans from the Silo, a Yankee Candle, and of course, a New England Patriots t-shirt.

I'm not sure how much I'll be posting before I get home, but I'll try to give you all an update all about Italy. I'll promise you a post-France post as well, but after that, I'm not quite sure what will become of this blog. I enjoy reading it, but once I'm back in New Milford, it's sure to become much less interesting, that's for sure.

But, for now- Mama G and I are living it up!

PS- Toulouse in the sunshine is absolutely the most incredible place in the world.

Nerves.

I've lived in the US my whole life, so why am I so nervous to be going back? I can't wait to see everyone at home and eat some delicious (aka fatty) food, but I just have this sickening feeling that it isn't going to feel like home. Many different people have told me that it is a bit of a shock re-adjusting to American culture/life and that as hard as the people at home will try, they just won't understand how I'll be feeling, unless they've experienced it themselves. Thankfully, I do have a lot of friends that have studied abroad and who will hopefully be willing to help me through the change.

I am really excited to see my Mama in less than 2 weeks and my Dad will be joining us in Florence, as you know. I'm really looking forward to seeing them and to traveling to a new place. I must admit though, I'm scared for when the trip ends and me and Mama will go back to Toulouse and pack up the apartment and head home. As much as I want to be home to see everyone, I also feel like there's a lead weight in my stomach telling me that I'm not ready to go yet. I feel like I'm not done here, like I haven't accomplished nearly enough to be leaving.

I can't even fathom how I'm going to say goodbye to everyone I've met here. These people understand me in a way that hardly anyone else has ever been able to... and they still want to spend time with me despite it!

I don't even know how to explain why I feel so connected to France. Maybe it's just that it's my first time spending a big chunk of my life away from the US. Maybe I really am just scared of the readjustment. I have changed so much since I've been here and I'm so scared that I'm going to go home and just feel completely lost in my old life.

I feel so selfish writing all of this because I know people at home will be reading it. I do miss you all. I can't wait to see you. I am just scared out of my mind and I don't really know why.

I'm honestly hoping in the back of my mind that I can't find a job this summer so that I can look for ways to come back. And I haven't even left yet.

It just feels like I am going to the US for the summer and should be coming back home to Toulouse afterwards. I know that's not the case and I know it's stupid to even think. Just each day that comes closer to me going home, I was expecting to get more excited, but I'm just feeling farther away.

It's April?!?!!

I don't know where all of the time has gone. I will be home a month from tomorrow. That is absolutely insane! I was laughing to myself thinking about the To Do list I had going when I first arrived, because now it seems I've got an even bigger one to accomplish before I leave!

I need to:

• make an appointment with my banker to stop automatically paying my rent and to figure out how to transfer the rest of the money to my American account since I'll still be getting paid after I leave for a little bit.
• end my phone contract
• take pictures of all of my furniture and post it online- and hopefully get my money back for it.
• keep pestering one of my schools until I get paid for the extra classes I've been teaching.
• keep pestering the Allocations Familiales until I get my caf money.
• go through my clothes and shoes to see what is going to come back with me and what is getting chucked.
• go through everything I've collected as "future teaching material" and see what out of it is actually useful and what is going to get chucked.
• organize all of the things I've bought... and buy more. 
• clean every square inch of the apartment so we get our security deposit back.
• pack for Florence.
• pack a suitcase to bring to Florence for Dad to bring home. (and if you're reading this Dad- please??)

I know there is a ton more, but that's all I can think of right this second. I've got about 274 To Do lists laying in various places reminding me of different things. It'll all get done at some point. 

Then, of course, I get home and immediately have to start applying to teaching jobs. Which reminds me, I need to get a recommendation letter from a teacher here before I leave. 

I've got 2 1/2 weeks of teaching left, which is absolutely crazy. Then, Mommy comes! The first few days will probably be a lot of cleaning, packing, and walking around Toulouse. Then, we fly to Florence and I get to see my Daddy too!! 5 days of traveling around Italy, then another week in Toulouse where I'll need to finish packing, move out of my apartment and into a hotel for the last few days. Hopefully we'll be able to take the train to some cool places near by. Everyone hope for warm weather!

I'm going to apologize in advance because with so little time left, I'm spending very little of it at home, so I don't have as much time to update you all as I'd like. But, you'll all hear from me/see me soon enough either way!!