Travel Time!

Hey everyone! I am currently on vacation from classes for 2 weeks, so I'll be going to Paris! I'm leaving tomorrow and I'll be back in a week, but I won't have my computer. So, besides this post, you won't be hearing from me for a week or so. I promise to tell you all about my week as soon as I get back though!

I'm driving up with one of the teachers I work with and her family and I'm really excited!! I'll be staying in a hostel the first few days and then with a friend for the rest of the week. I have a couple friends studying in Paris right now that I haven't seen in years, so I can't wait to be reunited!

I really don't have any plans about what I want to do or see (I'm crap at traveling), but my roomie was kind enough to make me a list of some things and let me borrow her Paris travel guide, which I'm sure will come in handy. I have a whole week there though, so I'm sure I'll get to see lots of things without having to rush around like crazy. Yayyyy Paris!!! I traveled through Paris coming from London to Bayeux and from Bayeux to Toulouse, but I literally never left the metro, so I'm hoping I'll see a bit more this time around! I don't know why I'm using so many exclamation points!! But I am!!

!!!!!

Sorry. I'm just really excited if you can't tell. I'm supposed to be teaching French to people when I get back and now I can finally go to Paris, so when I'm teaching about it I won't be completely talking out of my ass. Just mostly.

Besides this trip, there isn't much to update you all on. This weekend has been absolutely crazy, which I'm hoping will lead into a crazy week. OH! And it's actually been snowing here like the past 2 days. It's sticking and everything! I'm hoping it won't be a problem for the drive tomorrow, but it is quite lovely. And as much as I always complain about snow, I do miss home quite terribly, so it's making me smile a bit seeing it here. I even took some pictures walking home from the pub last night :)

Oh and also, this ad has been making appearances all around Toulouse and I cannot stop laughing because of it. Enjoy!

Late night (early morning?) thoughts.

I have managed to completely disrupt my sleep cycle over the course of the last few couple weeks, sleeping all day and staying up all night. Sounds like the life of a rock star, but in reality, I've just been a lazy bum. So, here I am at 4:50 AM when I need to be at work in 3 hours. And I'm updating my blog. Sigh.

Not to fear! I'm hoping that by staying up all night tonight and forcing myself to stay awake the entire day tomorrow, my body will be begging for sleep nice and early tomorrow, effectively un-disrupting this vicious cycle. I hope.

But, as I've been trying to sleep for quite some time now, here are some of the thoughts that have floated around in my brain regarding my time here in Toulouse. Some are the product of memories made and lessons learned during my time here. Some are realizations and ideas I've come to terms with by observing (and interpreting to my own needs) the actions of others. Maybe others are just from growing up. a little.

• You can't plan for everything. Things will change unexpectedly. People (including yourself) are capable of doing things you'd never expect- both good and bad.  Things happen at the last minute and you'll have to adapt. And that is okay. As crazy and frustrating and annoying as it can be, you will get through it. It's also what makes things spontaneous and thrilling and how adventures happen! As much as I have wanted to sometimes, you can't curl up in bed and hide from change. You've just got to learn from it and move on from there.

• You need to do what is best for you. I am so young and I still have so much to learn about myself and about the world around me. How can I grow to become the person I want to be if I'm constantly worrying about what everyone else thinks? I'm not saying that you shouldn't consider other people. I can't count how many times I've called my parents asking them what I should do about this or that since I've been in France. I've got people I love at home that are effected (affected?) by my decisions as well. But, at the end of the day, if there's something that I think is right for me than I need to pursue it. People's feelings might get hurt. You might lose friends, but the ones who matter will be there supporting you along the way. Your family, as important as they are, will not always agree with you, but at some point you need to take a stand and do what you think is best for you. They'll still be there- I promise. And you are definitely going to make mistakes, but who cares?? There is no learning without mistakes! And when people come along in life and you decide that their opinion is just as important as your own hold on to them! That's one of the biggest decisions you can make for yourself- including others in your efforts to make a better you. Because sometimes when you find that person, they'll help you achieve it without you even knowing. 

• On top of doing what is best for you- don't be afraid to let the real you show! I have spent so much of my life analyzing my every action, my every word- wondering how I came across to others. Am I talking too much? Am I wearing the right thing? Is my opinion going to insult anyone? Am I getting along? It's exhausting! One of the goals I had in place before coming to Toulouse was just to act how I wanted and try not to worry so much about what others thought about it. And it was much easier than I thought it would be! It helped that I didn't know anyone here, so they didn't have any expectations for me. There wasn't a way they thought a "normal" Tori would act. So I go to just act... however I wanted. I'm not saying that I'm never concerned, that's a part of just being polite and having decent social skills, but it no longer consumes me and it is so freeing. I highly recommend it.

• Doing nice things for others with having no expectation of anyone acknowledging it feels really really good. And when someone does acknowledge it- boom. Explosions of happiness. It can be little things- washing someone's dishes, giving a stranger the 20 cents they need to buy a metro ticket, picking up a piece of trash, standing up so the woman with 4 kids can have your seat on the metro, or offering to take the picture so that your friend can be in it. They're all so silly and seemingly minuscule, but if you make it a habit of doing them, I find you'll smile a bit more often. 

I know I'm young and I have got a lot to learn about soooo many things, but this trip has taught me a lot about myself. Feel free to disagree with anything/everything that I've said (because that's a part of being true to yourself and having the right to your own opinion!) What a great thing that is! It's just funny to me that these are the thoughts that come to my head when I should be sleeping. Yet, while I'm awake all I can think about is how much I miss greasy pizza.... which is a lot. 

Proud.

On Tuesdays I teach an extra lesson with a few students until about 6:00. This week, after the lesson, there was an art exhibit inauguration being put on by some of the students and teachers. They had been working on it for about 4 months and were all really excited to explain the piece to everyone there and find out everyone's opinions.

Well, a lot of the students I work with in English class were there presenting and they were all SO excited to see me there. They came running over and handed me a lovely pamphlet of information and went on to tell me so many interesting things about the artwork. They explained how the exhibit was set up, what possible interpretations could be seen, what it took to put it together, how they personally felt about the experience, and more... in ENGLISH! They were all so passionate about the work and you could just see the pride in their eyes that they had been a part of it. It just goes to show that when you have a great interest in something, you're much more willing to push yourself further in your language abilities than you ever thought you could go. It was so great having this conversation with them and then once we were done talking their eyes would just kind of light up all of a sudden when they realized they had just had an intellectual and informative conversation in English.

I felt like such a proud mother hen.

I also got to practice my French as I walked around the buffet. And for the record, when choosing someone to talk to, just because the man has gray hair does not mean that you are free from getting asked out. At least I tried. But, I was able to have a nice conversation with a few people. It was funny seeing my students faces when I began speaking French. It was like I'd been tricking them this whole time!

That's all I really have to share at the moment, but I just thought it was really sweet.

On the other hand, I'm currently laying in bed complaining about my cold symptoms to anyone willing to listen to me. So, I should probably go before I think that this is the best way to complain to the most people. Wahhhh!

Violets!

The whole time I've been in Toulouse, I keep hearing about these violets that are supposedly everywhere. Even their football club is called "les violets." However, I've yet to see any of these purple lovelies... until I went to the Violet Festival on Saturday! I'll admit, I wouldn't exactly call it riveting, but it was cute. There were about 15-20 different booths set up and full of all things violet. And I mean all things. Crystallized violet petal candies, gummy violet candies, violet chocolate bars, violet wine, violet liqueurs, violet tea, violet scented candles, photographs of violets, violet lolly pops, dolls holding violets, bread baked with violet petals in it, violet scented bath salts... and I can keep going. I sampled as many things as I possibly could and my favorite things that I had were the violet hot chocolate and the violet macaron. Honestly, they were almost too good. There was also a group of Toulousians dressed up doing traditional dances, which was fun to watch. It was almost nice enough to make me forget the anti-gay marriage rally going on simultaneously on the other side of the square. Almost.

 Besides the violets, this week was full of lots of other activities. I spent WAY too much money, but it was worth it visiting all of these new fabulous restaurants. Tuesday night the girls went to dinner at a little Lebanese place in town, which was delicious. Dinner was followed by drinks at Cafe Pop, which happened to be Ladies buy one get one free night, thankfully. I feel like I did things the rest of the week too, but I can't remember for the life of me. Friday, a few of us went to this vegetarian all you can eat buffet. It sounds strange, but it was so good. And I was so full that I didn't even have room for free ice cream. I can guarantee you that that is the first that has ever happened. After, we went to the rum bar close by, but we called it a night after one drink thanks to our full tummies. Saturday, I met Lorna for the violets and we got lunch together at this cool little sandwich/salad place which was a really good value for a quick easy meal. Then, Saturday night, we had a night out, which was really fun. I went to this "Australian" bar called Snapper Rock, which was really packed and loud. Normally, that's not my scene, but it was a good time and had good music playing, so I'm okay with it. And I can't forget to mention the late night kebab for the walk home! 

As an American, my Sunday was obviously scheduled entirely around the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, in France, the Super Bowl doesn't even start until midnight. Luckily for me, we found a bar that did a quiet little lock-in and stayed open for the whole game. Considering the game didn't end until 5 in the morning, it's also lucky that I didn't have to work on Monday. 

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. BEFORE the Super Bowl celebrations, the girls and I met up for dinner at a restaurant called "The Hippopotamus" for some burgers and unlimited sides. We went straight to the pub afterwards and we happened to be there early enough for the pub quiz they were having! We split up into two teams. My team came in 5th place, which is much higher than we were anticipating, but the other girls came in first! So, we had a lovely prize to split between us! A bottle of our choice: vodka, whiskey, or gin. Vodka was the winner in this case. 

Although I was rooting for the 49er's, I didn't care too much about the outcome of the game, so I was doing my share of chatting and eating and drinking delicious Guinness. I got to meet some new people, who were really cool, even though I yelled at them for yelling and joking during the National Anthem... oops. You can't take us Americans anywhere. People brought in pizza and wings and it was a really fun night and a great weekend in general. 

But, now it's time to painfully look at my bank account and take it easy for a week or so... except that my tax refunds just came in and the sales are still going on in France for another week... so... I'll save after that.

Looking up.

So things haven't exactly been smooth sailing recently, but in the past couple of days my optimism and energy have definitely begun to resurface. While, I won't say they've blossomed yet, they're definitely on their way. Somehow I've managed to turn myself into a flower. I guess the tattoo makes sense now, anyway.

It's not that anything big or special has happened to make me feel particularly peppy, but I'm finding it's the little things. For example: having an interesting conversation in French (and if it's grammatically correct you might see me jump for joy), taking the time to clean my room or straighten my hair, the fact that it's 60 degrees and sunny in February, or having a chat with my Mama or Anna le on skype. All of these things are fantastic on their own, but the past two days have been filled with these little things that add up and make one happy Tori.

I just kind of snapped out of the "snooze" I was in the past couple weeks. I realized that I only have 3 more months here in France. While that may sound like a long time, the first 4 months absolutely flew by. I can't waste time laying in bed feeling sorry for myself. I've got to make the most out of my time here and gosh darn it, I'm going to! Once again, I don't mean that I need to travel to 27 countries during each of my vacations and go skiing in the Alpes every weekend. As terrific as that would be, I once again think that I'll make the most out of my time here by doing the little things.

I'm going to go get dinner and drinks with my friends tonight. We'll laugh and play silly games and speak too much English, but that's okay. I've been much better about speaking with the other teachers in French and joining in on more conversations, even if I'm not feeling 100% confident. I'm going to babysit an adorable little French girl that reminds me so much of my niece, Kiely. I get to help her speak English, while playing and working a bit on my French too (shhh!). I get to see some of my most timid students slowly raising their hands and participating more often. I get to eat delicious cheese as often as I want! I am so honored and privileged and so damn lucky to be here. And I know that it's all of these little things that I'll remember the most.

That's not to say that I'm not looking forward to traveling though! It's actually one of my goals this weekend to look at the budget and see if I can sneak in a bit of traveling during the next vacation, even if it's just to another part of France. We'll see! Not to mention my mommy is coming back in April!! Ahhhhh, I can't wait!!! llsdkfkhgfgjgf.

The point is, no more Ms. Grumpy Gills. C'est vachement mieux d'etre heureuse, non?