So, you remember these babies? Sure you do! Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down! Well, lately I feel like I've been channeling my inner weeble (weeble wobble?) Either way. They point is that I don't know what the heck I want.
I love love love France, but I am slowly becoming more homesick. Seeing my parents and Jason was amazing, but now I miss them even more it seems. I miss my friends and family that I haven't seen. I even miss my job at the golf course. And I know I'm going home in just over 3 months (99 days to be exact). So, being homesick is a mild inconvenience which will be over soon and I'll be begging to come back to France. The thing is though, for the past month or so, I've been really looking into coming back sooner and possibly staying longer. I was really thinking about renewing my contract here, but too many people applied, so we can't. Then, I was thinking about looking into grad school, but I'd still need an income. I'm sure I could find another program or a nannying job or something, but then I think- I came here to experience living in France and to practice the language and to teach. I've done those things... maybe it's time to go home and see if I can find a teaching job in New England somewhere.
Yet, with that there aren't really any job postings yet. And even if there were, it's really hard to go to an interview in CT when you happen to be living in France.
I can always come back a different time though, right? But, how if I got a job teaching?? I guess during the summer. I don't know. These are the little arguments I've been having inside my head. It's like I love it here and it's fun and it's a really easy job with enough pay to get by. But, I can't help feeling that when it's over in May, it might be time to go home and grow up.
I'm so worried about settling down too early before knowing where I want to live for the rest of my life, but I know that's silly. Just because I get a teaching job in CT doesn't mean I have to always live in CT. People move all the time.
I just don't know what I want to do and I can't make up my mind and it's driving me a little bit insane. But, the most important thing to remember is- like weebles, I may wobble, but I'm sure as hell not falling down.
